Being honest – being real, being or saying and sharing what I think should be said, or shared.
I have often stated that I share my own experiences in hope to reach someone that may or have gone through what I choose the subject to be… repeatedly I see people trying to run to the rescue and “make” me feel better.
As if I have no right to experience what I am experiencing. WOW, and I hear you, they love you. They care about you. They do not want you to suffer.
And I full heartedly agree with what you are saying. However, have you ever thought about the fact that when you do this, you are telling the author, the life experience, the emotions, that they are wrong.
They are wrong for feeling left out in the cold and dark. They are wrong for feeling as if the world is swallowing them whole. They are wrong in expressing that no matter what, somewhere in life they too have fallen, and they are fine speaking out about it.
Why do we do that? Why do we find it so very hard to simply sit and read, or listen and HEAR, why do we feel the need to run to the rescue and fix whatever it is we think needs fixing?
I have a friend (the shock and horror), this friend has picked up the phone occasionally, and cried. Just cried. I listened.
I did not try to fix it, I did not try and “make” her feel better, I did not tell her that the moon is made of cheese. I did not downscale her emotions, raw, bitter, overwhelming… I did not “run” to the rescue… I simply listened. Yes, I listened to her tears, as no matter what I said, it would not have “fixed” what she is feeling, and never is it my right to take her pain away, but sit with her in silence, for all she needed was someone to HEAR and FEEL her. Nothing more, nothing less.
We do this often, this running and placing band-aids on people. I think in my world, I have reached the conclusion, that we do not do this for them, we do this for ourselves… we make ourselves feel better… because we saved the day.
Allowing space, is just that – allowing space for someone to simply be, who they need to be in that moment of life.
Take a moment and think about the following – every time you run and “fix”, you tell that soul it is not acceptable to feel, to express, to work through what they are finding themselves with – you silence that soul… having that soul, suffering in silence, dying a slow and painful death… simply because you are not comfortable hearing the hard facts of the experience