Excusitis

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Day number 13 of the 3rd month of the, oh wait, not third year… or is it? According to those that know “we are in year 3”… well, we are not in for an education about astronomy. So just sit back and allow me to entertain you today. Got your cuppa?

I read this morning at half asleep time, trying to have the brain working; “It just occurred to me that many people are actually afraid to heal because their entire identity is centred around the trauma they’ve experienced. THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE OUTSIDE OF TRAUMA AND THAT UNKNOWN CAN BE TERRIGYING.”

And then people still ask me why I say it takes courage to heal. Seriously? Okay, a bit egotistical in my response there. However, if you have been stuck in what people call a “rut”, or as some say, “make the same mistakes over and over”, or that “because my parents, or my husband, or even my wife, or my child did this and that”, oh yeah… Easy to blame everything outside right? So much easier to find an excuse for the way you are reacting, rather than find a solution. Because who would feel sorry for you… and what will you feed on?

Let’s be real – pity is an “oh-my-goodness-gracious-me” drug. Yeah, you read that right. It is a drug. It is an energy drug.

It is perfectly fine to “voice” what you have endured, but stand back, and in hope you can be proud of the circumstances that have shaped you into a stronger and more attentive human being.

You are not the experience, you are the result of the experience. And yes, we all make mistakes. Each and everyone of us. We trust the wrong people, get burned, fall, get “depressed”, life becomes too much to deal with… but you know what – let me tell you a little secret… YOU can change everything.

You can learn, if you are willing. Healing is not for everyone – how dare I say that, I can, it has been proven repeatedly. People sprint off, run and believe they found all the reasons why they react the way they do… but they forget the most important part… themselves. The unassuming fact that THEY had nothing to do with what happened to them. TO THEM. Yes, we can debate on why children are raped, and the injustice of it all – we can voice many things on this beautiful almost warm day, but this is not the message.

I have a “saying” I love to use as much as I can – You are not special in your suffering. There are people in way worst circumstances, or have endured much more than you, and yet, they have CHOSEN, I repeat – CHOSEN to rise above it, deal with and move on.

Such an individual when asked about their lives, will automatically state, when faced with the “normal” I am so sorry speech – thank you for the sympathy extended, however know, that without my life, of said “pain”, I would not be the person I am today.

I chose to learn about me, about my reactions, about my trigger points. And NO, I have not mastered any, if that was the case, I’d be sitting on a cloud somewhere laughing at the ridiculousness called “life”.

I leave you with a thought – and a word that does not exist, feel free to use it…

“Excusitis is a dis-ease, and the over-use of it can and will cause death.

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