I Refuse to Deny Who I Am

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I know yesterday we were meant to continue the “last” part of self-esteem… but one thing I have learned is to NEVER force and issue… meaning, we had to “rest” 😊

Self-acceptance is a refusal to deny of disown any aspect of the self: our thoughts, emotions, memories, physical attributes, sub-personalities, or actions. Self-acceptance is the refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to our own experience. It is the foundation of all growth and change. It is the COURAGE, in the ULTIMATE sense, to be FOR ourselves. The level of our self-esteem cannot be higher than the level of our self-acceptance.

I shall refrain from speaking book today. And maybe tell you about me. I know who I am 200%, what I have often wondered…. What am I. What am I but mere mortal on this planet, this beautiful blue planet? Where did I come from, and why did I choose to be here? I know MANY, that feel this way, but one thing strikes me every time… the words uttered …. I don’t know who I am.

Struggling internally to grasp the concept of “Who am I”, the challenge is to place myself in their shoes, no matter how difficult.

Have you ever heard someone say…I don’t know WHAT I am… well, if not, today is the first.

Some memes cover the aspect of “what am I”, however still state that thing of “who am I” – made up from all friendships, people, stardust, the universe, source, experiences, love, hate, tears… and then the physical vessel I inhabit.

Looking into the reflection of the eyes, blue, staring into the nothingness it promises at the end of the gaze – seeing all the atoms bouncing of each other, and feeling the energy. It is beautiful. Sensing the heart, touching it ever so gently – fragile it is… with each stroke, the emotion radiates from it… hurts felt, hurts inflicted… joy felt, joy handed… love felt, love extended…

And yet, somewhere, the voice still asks – WHAT ARE YOU.

I speak, I am… I am everything, and I am nothing. I am the universe and I am but a pawn. I am a teacher, and I am a student. I am a giver, and I am a taker. I am… A survivor, a giant and a mouse, the mountains and the water, I am… The air, and the water, spirit and empty… I am

I am light and I am dark, I am positive, and I am negative, I am a great influence, yet also a destroyer… I am.

I am broken open, watching silently, looking at the world through my own make shift concept of what it should be. I am the judge and I am the executioner. I condemn, and yet I save.

I am. And for this reason, what I am can never be answered.  The answer to that will be revealed the day I rest this broken and tired vessel – for whom I am, I know all too well… But what I am – I shall seek until the end of time.

Many Beautiful blessings

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