In my human weakness, I had a bit of b#$^^-fit yesterday, afterwards I did feel as if I have personally violated that much needed quiet in the mind and the peace of living, I so need…. But there is no turning back is there… Once something is out, viewed, read and taken in, well, it is done. Words can never be taken back.
I know we have been quiet of late, and no, not school holidays yet, but only three more days before I would need lots of calm-myself-down-medication… What can I say. I love the little human, but unlike the felines the mouth… sho. And arguing with a Gemini is like farting against the wind.
My obsessive nature, has me mulling over words all the time, in a conversation it does look as if I am not taking what is said, however afterwards, I play back the “movie” and can easily become obsessive about what has been said. Like a wound that just does not stop bleeding, no matter what you try.
I don’t want to speak book today, or “class, brand” myself into a category that would have many understand.
Never in the last 20 years of my life have I felt the need to explain myself, or rather justify my actions.
I have been cruel, I have been kind
I have hurt and been hurt
I have turned my back on a person in need and had the same done to me. Call it what ye will, karma, or whiplash, or whatever has you comfortable in your world… Trying to seek the lesson and the need to understand why certain “things” must happen… well, therein lies the challenge for all of us.
Some people walk away, others are forced to leave… many distance themselves, and I am no different in the human experience.
One thing that has become crystal clear (and yeah some crystals are not that CLEAR) 😊, there is no need for me to “discuss” another person. I have maintained that what ever I have ever said with you not being around, I can say to your face. But I do watch the comrade between people that crucify each other, and wonder if they even know what is said behind their backs. And NO, it will never be my place to go – “oh do you know… desperate for attention I have never been.
My thinking today is about…. You sitting down? Do you know the person you call friend? Do you know that not every person deserves your trust and love, it sounds horrible, as we are individuals made up form one core source and that is love? But when you watch from the outside and “feel” the energy, knowing the sticky black, tar-like yuk, radiating from these individuals, it is time to go. Never should you feel guilty about that.
People talk about manifestation… and yeah, it is a real concept, (perception), but what about projection. I tried to explain this to someone, I thought I could call friend, sister, beloved of my heart… MY perception about the “projection” theory is thought, becomes word, becomes matter… what does it mean?
It means that when I think ill thoughts of you, I speak them about you, and I knowingly or unknowingly place that energy in your direction. Someone mentioned the fact that there is never any need for protection… why would you offer house cleansing? Someone mentioned that they do not believe in “karma”, neither do I, but I do know there is an energetic need in the universe to restore the balance of choice.
Someone said, because I believe it is my DUTY and my CALLING, my PATH to rescue each and every abused animal out there, I will always have those in need coming my way. I ask myself if this person really is paying attention to what is happening. The imbalance of the magnifico called love – the fact that we have “lost” the ability to live close to nature, call it god, goddess, source, mother nature, what you believe is not my concern, and none of my business. But do not think for one second that you have the right to judge another on their choice, their beliefs, and their path.
It is painful, knowing that a human with consciousness, can inflict pain, not thinking what their words can do. It is painful to watch the “hate-speech”, black, green, pink, yellow, white – I don’t care… It is painful watching what you consciously decide to feed your energy towards.
In my perfect bubble, I bow to you and honour you in love extended from a place of pure awakening. Knowing that the change in me was screaming, knowing that I have answered that call. Knowing that I am not alone.
We are to live, love and care, for everything… everything that breathes… everyone in need, including yourself. Start with YOU, and instead of climbing the preacher podium, sit in the silence of your dysfunction, and pray that your heart can start speaking, instead of your mind…