We hope your night passed without much disturbances, and if not, we pray that you have the strength you need to make this a bright new day and moving forward with passion in your heart.
No “book” talking this morning. A simple share from me to you.
I have realised once again yesterday that there comes a time when one needs to stop – and like I always say, breathe.
So, there I was determined to have all the boxes unpacked that still have shoes and clothing in, and obviously, as needed in my life right now, donating much of the things I no longer need and or “use”. There two messages in here today – one of call it attachment if you want to, and one of walking away when you no longer having “fun”.
I hung some beautiful curtains as well, loving gifted by a friend… but still have the other window to do.
Let’s get to the point, shall we?
Unpacking ALL my stuff, personal items that is, clothing and shoes, belts and whatever else makes my heart happy. I thought of each item I have purchased with reason and logic behind it. It was so hard to “let go” of clothing items. And yes, I have more than I need. However, I also know or rather remember more or less when an item was purchased. I like to look good, I mean who doesn’t, female and male alike – we like to feel good, and look good – I have clothing that seriously are over 25 years old – shoes even older. And no, not purchased from the “high-end” fashion stores. It comes from random places.
I have this thing in my mind, to carefully place my shoes back in the boxes, and either to the washing or hung back in the cupboard. If anyone had to unexpectedly visit me, they will assume- an “un-kept” individual. Because I flop around in torn t-shirts, shoes with holes in, pant that are either falling apart, you get it. And I hoard, I am a hoarder…
Looking at these items in need of donation, I did have some sadness within me – felt like letting go of “children” when I placed the shoes no longer worn in boxes, and clothing no longer needed – I mean little power suits, dresses I do not wear, accessories, the works… And the voice that was so loud in my head – “what if you need it”, maybe in time, and you let go of it now… A struggle. I tried one thing – telling the voice, that if I let go now, it makes space for “new” things to come, logic and reason against passion and want.
I did this years ago, when I needed money and no longer needed all the shoes and clothing items, I sold it – but within we it hurt so badly. As that was not letting go, it was out of necessity. Sub-consciously I think, my mind said – not again. Oh well, such is life right – but now I can also release that feeling of “loss” from years ago – as this time, it is done for the “right” reasons.
You get it – a phase of letting go – clearing space, not only in the “cupboards, but in my life too.
The other side of yesterday, I was wowed by how we “force” ourselves to continue something when we are at a stage of just turning a “box” upside down and leaving it on the shelve, closing the cupboard door, pretending that the “mess” inside is not there. Just like many of you, I am also hard on myself, and the “need” to feel like I have accomplished something for the day. But after about 5 boxes, fetching the Dragon from school, needing to stop at the shop (blegh), cooking (oh wait, I do forget I can’t cook), hanging mentioned curtains, I stood back and felt beyond “tired” not just physical, just “tired”, unhappy, irritated – mostly with myself as no one forced me to open the last box, I should have listened to my back screaming, my body aching all over and maybe grabbed a book and just sat back for a bit – maybe spending time with the Dragon, instead of forcing myself to complete the last box… It would still be there this morning anyway, still PLENTY of boxes standing all over the show – my point here, we do this all the time, and as we are journeying on the self-esteem road, myself included, I was my own worse enemy yesterday. No one was going to clap hands for my accomplishment, or say thank you, I was no longer having fun at box 5 – what happened? Yup, you guessed it – I did start to “throw” things in the cupboard.
We do this a lot – no longer “happy” with the situation, or “having fun” but we force ourselves to continue – doesn’t matter what area of life, or relationship. That’s what we do.
So today, I will also listen carefully to a mind and body that may whisper at first, then shout, to stop when it is needed to stop – in all areas of my life.
Blessed journey for you today.