Today I feel like shouting – GOOD MORNING VIETNAM – *giggles* wish I had the energy to go with that as well. But, I am sure in days to come and as I nest into the new and beautiful surroundings the feeling of bliss will be overwhelming.
There had been so many subjects – as always flying around in the mind – but alas, not a pen in sight to at least note down something to speak about. Currently, two of the baby kittens – they just turned 3 weeks yesterday, has bonded with “human” form mama, and scream their little heads off hearing my voice… AWHHHHH moment yeah?
The “thing” I want to talk about today is respect – and even though we have ridden this horse until death, I am sure many of you can relate. I am also not to sure if it is respect, or the universe once again taking me into those dark voids of my soul and requesting a healing from it.
Most of you, as like me have reached places that have us feel “complete” or at least valued (I do hope). Value or the feel thereof can be anything. A part of a circle of friends, your own “home” or towards YES, even an animal.
I have realized, with a huge shock this weekend that there is ONE hugely unresolved constraint/issue/hold back, call it what you need to – within me. I know myself very well, the journey and the lessons have been huge, and the learning at times excruciating. I have learned, to deal with people at first hand with the needed respect – for the species. Still with me?
I have learned, that at best we are emotionally hijacked, running on response instead of using the universal handed breathing space – thinking and acting in a manner to which your soul resonates.
The universe uses whatever it must to teach, whether it be people, situations, or generally an internal feeling. It has no reason, only to have you evolve.
“Shuveny”, has a tattooed face, covered with precision, other “markings” that completes me/her… you get it. I look different, I speak differently, I walk, think and do most of ME differently. But one thing I do not do – is to think, or pretend that I am better, superior or simply MORE than any other.
This weekend, I was placed in a situation that opened a can of worms that had me stand back and question what exactly had “hit” me… I know where the “feeling” came from, and I know what had triggered it, obviously people. *giggles*
Even though I had complete and utter verbal spit fits, I still had the maturity in walking away from said individual… But then the anger rose. It took me back to years of “verbal” abuse, of suppression – of forcing me to be small. Almost as if there had been a need to piss against every tree, and against me to claim “alpha” state…
I am thankful today, that I have reached a place where I know when to walk away and when to retaliate. I am also thankful that I did not give into the feeling of needing to be BETTER, SUPERIOR or HEARD – handing you a secret – the louder the person speaks, the less they hear you anyway.
There is a saying – I have no fear in sleeping with wolves, as the wolf know there is a lion among them.
Here is a choice for me as well, the choice to interact with said individual, and to possibly accept an apology. Do not sit up and expect miracles – as I have learned, that it is my right in this life, who I allow space around me, interact with and share energy…
I do hope that you all have been having a great time in the silence of Healing Evolution.
Note that many “workshops” will be up and running from the end of October again.
I bid you day complete in respect.