Levels of Love

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Let us talk a little about love this morning,

Not a lengthy discussion, a short and sweet one.

There is this thing called the triangular theory of love by Professor Robert Sternberg, how does this explain such an ambiguous, changing thing like love?

It states that love has three ingredients:

Intimacy:   liking one another, sharing personal stories, and bonding. It is a slow developing emotional involvement, as in a friendship.

Passion: a physical and sexual attraction. An instant or quickly developing addiction and excitement about being around each other. Usually high in the beginning of a relationship, but slowly declines over the years to a stable level – streetwise – called lust 😊

Commitment: a stable, dependable devotion to each other. A slowly developing decision to stick by the person in bad times.

Here is the catch – the amount of each of the ingredients that we throw into a relationship will determine the shape of it…

Want me to explain? Simple – beginning of the relationship you both feel attracted to each other, when near or far, so passion is high. Then you start to have conversations thus intimacy is increasing, since it is all new and exciting and you don’t know how it will turn out, the level of commitment is still low.

Romantic love is classified by psychologist when intimacy and passion are high but commitment is still low. As romantic love develops, it can alter the shape in many directions, one of which is “true love”.

Type of love:

Acquaintanceship: low intimacy, low passion, low commitment

Infatuation (crush one nigh-stand): low intimacy, high passion, low commitment

Empty love: low intimacy, low passion, high commitment

Romantic love: high intimacy, high passion, low commitment

Companionate love: high intimacy, low passion, high commitment

Blind love: low intimacy, high passion, high commitment

And of course, true love: High in all aspects.

Just a “low” focus on True love, this is most people’s ideal – however found that not very common. It is not always necessary for a relationship to be happy and successful. Over time, the needs of your relationship change. You will fall to either sides, push upward or downward… it will shift, and if you are lucky return to the “normal” state and start all over again.


Intimacy                                                                               Commitment


There are so many different “kinds” or types of love out there, but in the end, we are all in call of the universal law that is pure LOVE.

As I said once again to someone this morning, like two pebbles in a river, becoming smooth trough storms, and tranquil steams…

Where are you in the relationship factors? Are you able to evaluate your personal relationship, and the other relationships you have, and remember… it changes all the time?

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