When students of psychology begin their studies one of the first things they learn about is Abraham Maslow’s study on the human needs. His observation of people from around the world led him to conclude that human beings have 5 fundamental drives.
What do you “need” in life? You might say, a new car (yes I do 😊 ), a new couch, a new job. You may even say, money, jewellery or a flat screen TV.
You may need many more things – but if you carefully think about it, you will probably realize that these items are not “things” that you want from your “stomach” or “gut level”, but rather things that you “need” simply because of the culture you are living in, or the circle of friends you have.
Think about it this way, if you were born into a group of desert nomads, would you still have those “needs”?
It is very likely that your needs would change completely. Your fellow wanderers would not care about the quality of your couch or the function of your new cell phone, and let’s face it… neither would you.
Five, fundamental needs – every human on this planet have the same five fundamental needs, no matter the culture. No one teaches us these needs, we are born with it. Maslow places these needs in a triangle or pyramid that is called our “hierarchy of needs”.
Food, water and sleep form the base of the triangle. Most important and are noted as “body” or “psychological” needs. “Body Needs” refers to the essentials of daily living, we need to eat, rest and be strong to fight off sicknesses.
Top one up – safety, refers to shelter from dangers in our environment – a place to hide under when it’s raining, too hot – you get it.
Then we have LOVE – the centre, does it even surprize you that even within the analyses the need for love, lies centre as within our human composition as well – talking about the physical body here. Lower three chakras, Heart centre, then higher three.
What a surprize – Recognition and right on the top we have
SELF -ACTUALIZATION
The reason behind this method is simply to show, once you have at least found “comfort” in one level, you can work your way up.
Let me explain – if you are feeling sick, starving or chased by a tiger, you will not have much thought about love – true – it is fact.
Did you know that the human body is hard-wired to recognise the appropriate time and place for different drives? If there is no sense of safety, there is no interest in developing deep love relationships. But this could change, after a full belly and comfort in our environments, we humans have a curious tendency to start thinking about the other human beings standing around us. Why? Because “feeling” a sense of belonging is important to us, almost as much as eating and drinking… Think about the English saying – starved for love and affection.
Self-esteem and recognition, all of us want to feel competent about our capabilities, and we do want others to recognise our efforts and our talents.
Me as an individual – I have this nasty attribute of linking love and self-esteem. I don’t feel bad about it, many of us do. Feeling loved and having good relationships are important, but I also want to know that my talents and abilities are independent and free.
We focus on work, hobbies, activities, travel, striving for first level – self-esteem
By now you are seriously wondering why we are speaking book this morning, I know, here is my point, based on my personal evaluation – of me, and no, I did not do it, another professional individual did 😊
All this works well, however, in order to feel solid grounding in self-worth or self-esteem, most have to go back to level 3… love. It is my personal skyscraper. If one of the levels are shaky, it has an impact on all the levels above…
For me, feeling truly self-confident, does not only come from my abilities, it also comes from a sense of belonging, a connectedness to my partner, my “community”, or a selected group of friends.
So, for me to reach self-actualization, having my full “self” real, wholeness, connectedness to my environment, it means the daily struggle of the bonding of the ideal self and the actual me…
Shocked I was to see that according to the studies, I lived my life at 43% of my ideal potential. I have noticed daily it became more important to feel MYSELF (not feel myself up, naughty) than any other tangible item out there…
That my beautiful people, is the foundation and the journey of reaching the higher I inside and becoming authentic. People seem to think that being “authentic” (true, reliable, dependable) has to do with the outside word, from the words of masters in this world, and studies accumulated, the higher I, is internal.
You cannot build your skyscraper on the foundations of others – nor can you allow one level weak. Trust your own guidance, follow your truth. Be bold, be brave, be LOVE
