Greetings Beautiful people,
I almost sound my true self… I almost feel it too. I know in the past week things have gone dark in here, and it was the show of the “heart on my sleeve”.
Besides much needed information on the psyche of “personality”, I want to journey with you on that thing called feelings.
It may be a long read, but it worth it.
Recovery calls for unaccustomed emotions. It is true when one start to confront the inner being. It is entirely normal to experience feelings more intensely, that emotional hi-jack I love to talk about. If this is happening to you after a trauma, it is completely normal and acceptable, and you are on the right track. Many people out there have difficulty with feelings, and we are not talking the every day sadness, or joy, or happiness thought.
When strong feelings take hold, it actions anxiety, phobic reactions. We have a natural tendency to withhold them, which only aggravates the process of “healing”.
Feelings, unlike THOUGHTS, involve a TOTAL body reaction.
Feelings do not come “out of the blue” but they are often fuelled by THOUGTS and PERCEPTIONS. Let me remind you here that perceptions are a dangerous thing – every person has their unique perception of how their “life” should be.
Feelings are divided into two groups – simple and complex
Feelings are what gives you “energy” If you are able to express them freely and are in touch with those feelings, you may be surprised that it can create energy, meaning it can leave you “feeling” even more energetic.
Feelings comes in mixtures rather than ONE pure form. (many people by now are thinking I am describing either a bi-polor or depressive individual, you are entitled to your opinion, however, we are not discussing those matters, we are only talking “feelings”.
Feelings are contagious, I see all the empathic people sitting up – when you see pain, you feel pain, when you see sadness, you feel sadness. But the more you are in touch with your OWN feelings, the less you will “catch” the feelings of another. Or be better equipped to differentiate which is which.
Feelings can never be RIGHT or WRONG – as reactions feelings simply exist. Fear, joy, guilt and anger are not in themselves valid or invalid. You only happen to have them, and will feel better after expressing them.
Feelings are often subjected to suppression. Sometimes you may actively hold in or control your feelings. When you have done this your whole life, you become emotionally numb and you will experience difficulty expressing them. I know, I did this for a very long time growing up, mine started in childhood, and it took years and years to get over the idea that it is acceptable for ME, maybe not you, that I VOICE the way I feel.
Remember the section that is still open (however less requests), about phobias. Do you know that people with phobias find it more difficult to express themselves? Why? They tend to be emotionally reactive and have learned to suppress those very strong feelings. Those are the people that should focus more on expression rather than with-holding.
Your ability to gain awareness of and express your feelings is an essential part of the process of recovering from any “anxiety” “phobic” “trauma” disorder. It is as important as relaxation, exposure, and general cognitive (intellectual/reasoning) skills we hold.
I have learned about three simple steps to identify feelings – Took me a while to remember 😊
Recognize the SYPTOM of the suppressed feeling:
“Free-floating anxiety”
Feelings of Depression
Psychosomatic symptoms; headaches, ulcers, high blood pressure, asthma – all assigned to suppressed feelings
My favourite – muscle tension, then you have different sections of the body responding to the either anger, like the back of the neck, grief in the chest, fear in the diaphragm/stomach, sexual in the pelvic floor.
Tune in to your body:
We stay in our heads with this one, not listening to the body. It takes work to move from the head to the body. It starts with expression. Saying I am heartbroken, I have a gut feeling, I have pain in the *censored* from this and that.
Try experimental focusing. Ask yourself what you are feeling, or what the main problem or concern may be. Tune to the part of the body where you FEEL it. Wait and listen. Do not analyse, do not judge – just observe…
Identify the EXACT feeling – you may think there is more than one, but only ONE holds hostage:
Write down word expressing feelings (or I can give you some), read through this list until one word best describe what you are feeling.
Once you IDENTIFY what you are feeling, EXPRESS IT.
Write it out, talk about it – until you are empty and the feeling is out. Do not stop, and do not suppress.
I know “woundology” has become a major thing in the western society circles, but find a group that hear you, listen to you, and accept what you say as your authentic truth and your own authentic feelings.
I walk away leaving you with one thought, it is ok for YOU to feel the way you do. Allow it. Let it, accept it, experience it, and then will it to leave you. This way, you guarantee your vessel another day of peace and another day of love and acceptance for whom you have become.
How do you discharge from feelings?
How do you discharge from sadness?
How do you discharge from ANGER?
Many you have a blessed Monday, with all the beautiful emotions that comes with it.
