Good Morning Beloved,
I extend a personal loving thought to those in need of it, and hope that the Lady in the sky has given you some direction last night on where and how to move forward, letting go of those ickies that no longer serve you.
This morning, I am sure to be stoned for my subject. I am sure many are going to disagree with me, and many are going to run with band-aids, and plasters. But please before you do, allow my words to challenge you.
I have thought much over a comment made form my husband a while ago. I do have his permission to speak about what I am sharing in case you are wondering. But even for him my writings this morning will have a surprising twist.
DEATH
The last couple of days death has been on my mind a lot. In the unfortunate event of my sister saying goodbye to her mom, then to have the anniversary of mine, and then my husband… to stand by a table of saying goodbye to beloved furchildren.
DEATH
Death has been my friend. More so now again than ever before. I wonder about the usefulness of my caring, giving heart. I wonder about the lives I try and influence daily, and I wonder if I really succeed in what I try to accomplish.
DEATH
I wonder about the comment from Nick, we spoke about our own “funerals” not so long ago, yes we are kinda weird in that way. My heart dropped in my shoes when he said, his family would probably be happy as the “burden” would be gone. He said that he would have very little people at his “funeral” as he has little friends, which I added towards – there will be plenty. But his responses left me with diminutive words. They are my friends, and not his. He knows them through me, they are here for me.
It made me think on the aspects of, suicide. I told you it is a sticky subject this morning. Many people believe that 
suicide is the cowards way out. After a conversation with a good friend of mine, I stand with my belief that suicide is never a coward’s way out. No one can expect you to carry on when you have had enough.
Yes, ok fair enough there are those that threaten suicide every other day, those that just cannot seem to climb out the hole they are in. We get tired of helping, tired of guiding… we are human.
Another person said to me that suicide shows a lack of integrity. How is there no honour in death?
DEATH
Many of us are afraid of dying. I find that concept intriguing. Told you I am weird. I find it fascinating that we would fear something so beyond our human understanding. Is it that we fear, because we don’t know what is “out there”, do we fear for the lives we leave behind? Do we hold onto a life, with no joy, happiness because it is expected? Hey, I am not telling you to go off yourself. I am asking mere questions in my limited understanding as well.
I can go all psychological on your arses, but that will entail I speak “book”, I have never been good at that. You know when you have a conversation and you need a dictionary to understand the words uttered.
People say, only the strong will survive, some say that strong people never give up. Others tell you, that there is no option but to carry on. Another will say, like me – I have never had the privilege to fall completely apart. In my later years and with my “book-knowledge” I understand my own statement. What it tells me is that if I do allow myself to “fall apart” completely, there is nothing in this world that will glue me back together again.
I have often asked clients why they do not cry, they tell me words I already know, if they start they are afraid of never stopping.
DEATH
We can only enjoy life as we know it has an expiry date. Sounds terrible in saying it like that. I know, but it is the truth. We are unfortunately always thinking there will be a tomorrow. A tomorrow because we will it so. Not to sound all cliché, but seriously, there is no guarantee of anything. We leave friends and family in anger, never clearing the air. We allow silly little things to come between partners. And this has nothing to do with “forgiveness” of another, I told you before, I only forgive myself, not someone else. And yeah, stone me for that comment.
Death has been my friend lately, he has shown me things within my soul. A soul that is screaming for release from a world so ugly that it breaks me piece by small piece. I wonder how many times I will be able to see posts of animals left behind in back yards, starved, abused, broken souls… and seeing this all breaks my soul. I hear you – stop watching you say. Stop hurting yourself like that you say. I have nothing for you, but in that moment and the tears I shed for a life deemed unworthy of love and care, must mean something. And if I stop, who will cry for them…
DEATH,
I think people whom are ready to cross over never do at the time of their wishes, or the flip-side, maybe we have been terrible people in a previous lifetime and are paying for this. Which ever you believe to be true, or whatever you believe to be true…
DEATH, can be your friend.
