My Worth

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I know it is fun Friday, and you are most probably waiting for some laughter. It is Friday the 13th, the best day, for the Old followers out there, we love a Friday the 13th.

I am so weird that I actually look before hand how many Friday the 13th’s there are on the calendar – not that the damn thing is correct in my opinion… but not the subject for today. Yesterday I sat, typed out two whole pages, and I deleted the post. It felt angry, judgemental, almost cruel.  And maybe I was, deep down, not even knowing, yeah it can happen – not being aware of an emotion.

I received a message this morning, well actually yesterday, but only looked at it this morning. The message is/was very needed for me. It struck a cord deep within my soul.

Who am I to dictate the path of another. Who am I to challenge the thought processes, or beliefs of another.

I am.

I am a giving, caring, crazy person. I forget to call you back, I get busy with life, I get confused as to whom I owe what. I am honest, I am true to my own being. I am loving, and I can be cruel. I can choose to stay in one place, or I can allow the universe to guide me to where I should be. I can do anything I feel is right for me.

My days feel too long, or too short. I allow emotional hi-jacks. My world is turned upside down, just like yours, regularly 😊

My small heart hurts for those with no voice, my internal being asks hard questions… Me – I am.

What is my worth? I have shared the message or video clip with a group or two, and I hope it makes them think this morning.

It says that worth is about where you place yourself. Whom you allow around you. Those places you think you belong, and you don’t. The fact that we all have a diamond inside of us and choosing to help others see their value too.

A friend asked me yesterday, is it ok to “remove” people from my life. Yes, it is. It is your choice in whom you allow in your space, and whom you allow to help you see your worth. Sometimes we feel obliged to allow people in our sphere, simply because we wonder about the “what if’s”, what if they die and I have not done my part in “clearing the air”. What if they stay angry with me, as I am a good person. Yes, you are. But your duty lies with YOU. It lies within the bizarre and cruel thought of self-crucifixion.

I stand with something I tell myself regularly – never allow another person to change the beauty that lies within you. Me – I am. Crazy and beautiful. There is no one like me, I am unique. I dance to the beat and rhythm of my own heart, the drum and the sound of the great mother within me.

Shall I allow another to offer me R2, and believe for the rest of my life, that is my worth? Am I not to extend and seek those that can and will freely make me aware of the value within me?

The uniqueness of the conversation turned my voice inward. Do I allow others to hand me love and appreciation within feeling as if I do not deserve it, as I chose to surround myself with R2 people?

Have I helped them see the diamond inside, inside their beautiful, albeit broken soul or body? Have I really touched my own? I never proclaim to have all the answers, I seek all the time. Deep within my own soul – checking, re-checking and making sure that my path, is the path I should follow.

How do I cry over the loss of an animal, cry over an animal I have never met, cry over the humans out there that have nothing to give, with all their beautiful material “things”, they have no love? Am I all fluffy and bunny this morning, maybe I am – Healing Evolution spoke about letting go – I remind you, it is not that easy. It is not easy to journey on a path of soul discovery, it is not easy to walk away from someone, with all those questions still in your mind… it is hard.

If my personal worth is to be measured, I am proud to say it is priceless. Priceless against every human I have extended honesty, priceless against every animal I have saved, and continuing to do so, priceless against my heart, that have endured so much in my short years, but still able to give. My smile I give you, my time that is valuable, my knowledge I share, the beauty of my soul, is priceless.

My choice, I would rather be with someone that see me as priceless, than with someone that makes me believe I am worthless.

Thus  – I am

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