I am a sponge, I listen and gather information like we used to “forage” for foods in the olden days. We love speaking to a diverse group of individuals, sometimes asking, very strange questions…
From the time of finding the information, I go into a stage of “analyses”. Using what I think is good for me, and discarding, obviously, what I do not need. It doesn’t mean that I do not think and expand my own thinking as well from the information I receive.
Brought me to a place this morning of something I have been chewing on for a while, does it mean that we are weak when we show honesty?
If one shows honesty in terms of what we are experiencing at any given time, does that hand the opportunity for another person to stick a knife in the already bleeding parts of that wound? Or would the human expectation be, that of caring?
I had long conversations yesterday, with my diverse groups, I have listened, I have reflected. The day pasted with not much being done, physically, or constructively on the Workfront, however I know that the time of silence and reflection was needed.
Amazed I am at my soul, able to show, “weakness” if you must, honesty, caring and love. Not “shielding” much if another sees it as the opportunity in using that against me. Such will be the nature of the beast I guess.
In my personal evolution I have reached the phase of brutal honesty, of sharing, in truth, no matter how ugly, or the resistance in people having to deal with as worded nicely – my drama. I understand our needs for solitude at times, and the need for silence in a world that never goes quiet. I also understand that no one path is the same. I too understand that people have choices in “dealing” with someone else, and the process must be honoured if they choose not to.
Within me, there seems to lie a blockage – I struggle, I struggle to understand why people so desperately need honesty, begging for it, however will stone another for showing the soft under belly… I may have touched on this a while ago, 
but I think after some soul searching, I revisited the “feeling” that was brought to the forefront again over the last couple of weeks, as mentioned.
Needing to pay tribute to a voice in my head about the understanding of another person path, and the reasoning for not insisting the changes as you see them fit, I do – not.
As I voiced in my let’s call it innocence, that I need to extend the common curtesy, of pure love to another, why the world cannot do the same. Why can I be honest, why can I say what I mean, and mean what I say. Am I a “bright” Am I to be the light that shines to guide the rest to a place of acceptance of themselves? Am I to extend in my struggles the courage for you to voice yours? Am I in my honesty creating a space for you to say, just how you feel, without the judgement, or the scarification of your already broken soul…
There are many that think it is ok to verbally abuse another individual, whether they are there to defend themselves or not, there are those, that allow the “ugly” parts of themselves to take over, without thinking of the consequences of their speech, or maybe they just don’t care.
Why are we forced to exist in a world of hatred, dishonesty and jealousy? I say forced, and it is not tongue in cheek. It is brutal honesty. We look at someone and judge them for what they look like, we listen to someone, and because they do not spew the same articulated text we are accustomed to, we judge.
I have a matrix moment, a moment of unplugging myself from those that hold the shield or the mirror up of “love and kindness”. Sounding a tad harsh this Monday morning? I think not, but it is not on how I se things, it is also how you see it.
Looking at intimate relationships where the partners have to check phones, or check whether the individual really is where they say they are going to be – makes me think of a place of dishonesty within ourselves. Are we to say, you think the other will cheat, because you have? Well, have you? Are we to say that you may be feeling unloved as your capacity to love is not the same as another? Well is it?
Truth or dishonesty? Which one reigns in your world. I remember from a meeting in the corporate world where I stated openly – I am the one honest person I know in the room, did I offend many, yes, I did, however it was truth. As stories would be twisted and turned to suit and to have them looking like shiny new beautiful incarnated souls.
Am I telling you not to have a sounding board, no I am not, but be sure you have one, and one only. And be damn sure that when you speak, you know whatever is said doesn’t go anywhere. That is the difficult one isn’t it? Whom to trust, let me repeat myself, in a world where we beg for truth but live in dishonesty.
We even lie with a how are you – Fine thanks and you… when we are not “fine”. Told you before what fine stands for.
There lies much truth in the statement – Rather hurt me honestly than deceive me with a lie.
Live your truth today, even if it doesn’t comply with the standards of the general population, be true to our inner being, and see the beauty of yourself radiate the whole day. Feel good about saying to someone, do you really want to know how I am? It may stop them in their steps, and they may think about the “set rule” of good morning how are you – and actually listening to the response.
Take the time in knowing your circle, your work colleagues, be assertive, it is indeed a blessing getting to know someone, creating space for them to also live their truth.
Honesty – lies, which one will it be?
